An Off Day

My husband works out religiously. About two years ago he discovered CrossFit and has been following it (and now a modified version, CrossFit Football) consistently for all that time. Built into this program is something called “off days”. Working out is obviously good for you, but this program recognizes the benefits of NOT doing anything. Off days, or rest days, allow hubby’s body to rebuild and to not be pushed too far.

I don’t work out. But I do carry an ever-growing baby around all day every day! And somehow I find myself bending over and picking stuff up way more than I ever did (maybe this is why my house is much cleaner than before!). Maybe I’m out of shape (see above, where I said I don’t work out…), but my poor knees and hips seem to be taking the brunt of these new exercises. I woke up this morning feeling very stiff and sore. Today is the first day I’ve felt almost sick since I had the baby. So, I decided to have an “off day”. I drank a glass of orange juice, made a blanket pile in the middle of the living room, and decided to stay in my pajamas. No projects, no chores, no errands.

Since becoming a stay-at-home mom, I’ve felt a lot of pressure (from myself only!) to “get things done”. I stay on top of the laundry, the dishes, the groceries. I cook, I clean, I play with our dogs. I surf the internet for tutorials on upcycling sweaters into diaper covers, on DIY home improvement projects, on household cleaning supplies. If you follow me on Pinterest, you know that almost everything I pin is some sort of project! So, today, no projects. I’m trying to limit my surfing for new projects. I’m having an “off day” and making it count. There are no weekends in the life of a mom, so I’m making my own!

All you moms out there, remember to take a break once and a while from the pressures you put on yourself. Nobody is a harsher critic than you, so cut yourself some slack. Brush your teeth, put on clean underwear, and the rest is optional!

My First Mother's Day

When I think about it, I’m very happy for the timing of Abigail’s birth. She was born in February, so during the first few weeks where I never left the house, I didn’t feel like I missed anything. I’m stuck on the couch for 12 hours? Oh well, it’s 10 degrees outside. And now, with our first Mother’s Day, she’s three months old and just starting to be not such a drag ; ) In all seriousness, she’s much more capable of looking around, delaying her needs, and going with the flow, which helped make Mother’s Day enjoyable.

To be honest, I looked towards this day with a lot of anxiety. All of a sudden, I’m part of this exclusive club, previously only occupied by the older women in my life. What do you mean, I’m one of THOSE women now? I’m not old enough for that!

But the day turned out to be very pleasant, of course. Kenny always makes breakfast on weekends, usually pancakes and bacon, but this Sunday the pancakes had chocolate chips and strawberries, yum! We watched a Formula 1 race while we ate and talked about taking a trip to Texas for an F1 race in November (the only race in the US). Then Kenny and Abigail brought out a gift bag for me. I had given Kenny a couple of random ideas, but had dropped not-so-subtle hints about wanting a sewing machine. The gift bag, which had been sitting in our bedroom since the night before, clearly did not contain a sewing machine. I was disappointed but knew that Kenny always picked out amazing gifts, so was curious to see what he’d gotten instead. In my card was a gift certificate to a one hour postpartum massage! This was an awesome gift. I have only ever had a chair massage and can’t wait to go get this one. In the bottom of the gift bag was a small square-shaped item in gift wrap. In my mind I was guessing jewelry? A watch? I opened it carefully to find something metal in a plastic bag. Upon closer examination, I saw that it was a foot! No, not the kind that grows on the end of your leg, but a sewing machine foot!! Kenny and Abigail took me out to our detached garage, and there was the giant sewing machine box. Kenny had totally fooled me and again hit the gift out of the ballpark. Now all that’s left is to learn how to use a sewing machine!

We took our time getting dressed and by then, it was time to eat again. I picked out a sandwich shop on Kirkwood, in downtown Bloomington, called Potbelly. We’d never been there but I’d heard good things from a former co-worker. Abigail was dozing off, so we tossed her in the carseat, grabbed a blanket in case we wanted to have a picnic, and headed out. Abigail gave me the best gift a mother of an infant could want, and she slept all through lunch AND through our subsequent walk around campus. It was supposed to rain all day, but instead the weather turned beautiful and sunny. We ate lunch outside and strolled around IU, reminiscing about not-too-long-ago when we were students and only dating. And now we had a little baby! We even passed the church where we got married. It was almost 3 years ago, but it felt like yesterday. All the while, Abigail slept in the Ergo carrier on my chest, quiet and content.

We spent the rest of the afternoon outside at home with our furry children, and capped off the evening with some carry-out Cracker Barrel (my choice haha!). By the end of the day, I no longer felt old, but I did feel my new mommy identity seep in a bit more. I can’t wait until next year, when Abigail will be 13 months old, walking and talking. I know it will be here in no time!

Beth's Best Baby Gear

There's a reason why pregnancy tests come back with a plus sign when you're pregnant. Yes, you're about to "add" a human to your life, but you're also about to add a whole lotta stuff! There were many overwhelming aspects to becoming a parent, but I can happily say that I properly prepared in terms of purchases. Once the baby was here, I wasn't sending my husband to Target every two seconds for a vital item we forgot to buy. And believe me, even a trip to Target is overwhelming in those first few weeks. So, here is my list of absolute baby essentials, baby-maybes, and if-you-have-the-money-splurge-it-baby!-s.

Essentials:

Baby carrier

Research has shown that babies who are carried cry less. For thousands of years, people all over the world have carried their infants in something as simple as a piece of fabric tied in a circle. If you start researching baby carriers, you will find that this market has pretty much exploded. There are 5 or 6 categories of carriers, and each category contains lots of contending companies.

For the itty-bitty newborn days, a wrap style carrier is a necessity (unless you have a nanny or housekeeper or some fancy person doing all your housework). Sometimes a carrier is not even about trying to "get something done" but about making baby feel safe and cuddled. I chose the very popular Moby Wrap. It's basically a big piece of fabric that you tie around your body, with baby in it. If tying seems daunting (it really only takes a bit of practice) then you could also look into the Baby K'tan, which is similar but pre-tied. The drawback to the K'tan is that it is sized. A Moby Wrap works for any body size/type, and therefore mom and dad can both use it.

We also have a few soft-structured carriers (think Baby Bjorn) that we will use as Abigail grows. Try The Baby Wearer for reviews of all kinds of carriers. Many sites also offer lending services so you can try before you buy, or you can locate a nearby retailer and try out a carrier there. In Bloomington, The Green Nursery stocks many carriers that you can try on in the store.

Nursing pillow

I admit, I did not register for a Boppy. For those who don't know, a Boppy is a C-shaped pillow that you put in your lap, to make nursing easier. I already owned a Snoogle (C-shaped body pillow), which was purchased for me by my husband and was the only way I survived my pregnancy. The Snoogle can easily be used for nursing and I figured that was what I would do. However, my cousin-in-law, who had a baby 7 weeks before me, purchased a Boppy for my baby shower, and I'm so glad she did! I use it every day. You do need to buy covers separately from the pillow; I recommend two so you can be washing and using one at the same time. Alternately, I did find that a regular old blanket was useful for nursing, as I could smush it around under the baby as I saw fit.

Baby swing

We also did not register for a swing. We did register for, and receive, a bouncy chair, but a newborn apparently doesn't bounce much. The chair was useful while I was in the shower, as I could bring Abigail into our (tiny) bathroom, but NOTHING could replace our swing. We bought this when Abigail was about a month old, and I wish we would have had it sooner. Another advantage over the bouncy seat is that it's higher up, and Abigail ends up with fewer dog noses in her face when she's not at ground level.

I cannot say enough about this swing. Yes, it is pricey, but if it broke we would immediately go out and buy another one. It has all the fancy bells and whistles, but none of that matters as much as a calm baby. Read reviews on Amazon, Target, or Wal-Mart's website and you'll find hundreds of parents who feel the same. Am I sometimes jealous of the "mechanical mommy's" ability to soothe my baby? Yes. But was I eternally grateful for it the first time Abigail slept through the night? You betcha!

Dresser

Babies have a lot of stuff. We are using a dresser that I had when I was a little girl. The top drawer is for diaper stuff and the other two for clothes that we typically need during a diaper change, onesies, etc. You could be all fancy and spend as much money as you want on baby furniture, but I'm happy to be reusing something that means a lot to me. I do plan on fixing it up sometime in the future to prolong its life even further.

Changing pad

Thinking of the cost of items we needed for a baby made me cringe, and I tried to cut those costs where I could. I honestly thought I wouldn't mind doing all the diaper changes while sitting on the floor, where a towel, or heck, even a puppy wee-wee pad would suffice to protect the carpet. But, we did end up with a cheapo Wal-Mart changing pad to go on top of our dresser, and I'm glad we did. We bought two covers, but really, the thing is plastic and could be wiped down between changes if necessary. 

Cloth diapers

I acknowledge that this item will not be for everyone--though I don't know why not! Cloth diapers are EASY, I promise. They also save a boatload of money and waste. I can (and will) write at more length about cloth, but for now I encourage everyone with a baby on the way to just think about it. We purchased bumGenius Elementals for our baby. For 18 diapers, we invested $450. Sure, that looks like a large number, but disposables will cost $2000 over the course of one child's lifetime. And that is a LOW estimate--I've seen higher. Not to mention that the diapers we purchased are some of the most expensive on the market (we're paying for the convenience of a one-size, all-in-one, organic cotton design). You can quite feasibly cloth diaper for $100. No joke! Look for more posts on cloth diapers in the future.

Swaddle wrap

Kenny and I took a class about newborn care before the baby was born, and we spent quite a bit of time on how to swaddle a baby. We could have saved all that time and just gone to Target and bought a swaddle wrap. Wraps like these have velcro and are pretty much fool-proof. Abigail could bust out of a regular blanket by the time she was 2 weeks old. Save the headache and go for velcro!

Sleepers/footies

Chances are that you will not need to buy clothes for your baby. Pretty much every person you know will buy you at least one outfit. Maybe boy clothes are more practical, but all those cute little girl dresses are NOT useful. Anything in two pieces is just going to ride up or slide around. I LOVE one-piece footie "pajamas" because they are easy to deal with during diaper changes, and they don't make it hard to hang on to baby. If you feel inclined to register for clothes (we didn't and still received plenty!) consider footies.

Onesies

Going along with the one-piece theme, onesies are easy, cheap, and versatile. This is another item that I didn't buy, but had plenty given to me. I particularly liked the Gerber version, as they were a bit longer and only had two snaps (most have three). Doesn't sound like much, but one extra snap when you're sleep deprived could very well be enough to send you over the edge!

Burp cloths

Babies spit. And drool. You'll want to clean it up. Any towel or large washrag will work for a burp cloth, as long as it's big enough to easily throw over your shoulder.

Baby tub

I LOVE the whale tub that my sister bought us for Abigail. At first babies can only have sponge baths, but once the umbilical cord falls off they can get a bit more wet. While this tub fits over your sink, our kitchen is cramped and we don't use it that way. I just set it into our bathtub and fill up the whale as much as I need. The best part is the tiny orange whale cup. It has holes in the bottom so you can slowly drizzle water over the baby. Very handy! Although I do recommend putting a towel in the tub so baby's back is resting on the warm soft towel, instead of the somewhat unfriendly plastic.

Soap

The whale tub is pretty useless without soap. We used Aveeno baby products until one of my father's coworkers gave us some Avon baby shampoo which smells divine.

Hand sanitizer

Everybody will want to hold the baby, so make sure they have clean hands! I bought a giant bottle and plopped it on our coffee table--it's hard to miss. That way I don't have to be a clean hands nazi and people can self-regulate a bit more easily!

Carseat

Preeeeeetty sure they won't let you leave the hospital without this item! There are so many carseats out there; it will make your eyes cross trying to do research. The price points can range from around $100 to, well, as high as you want! We were very lucky to find a new Chicco carseat on Craigslist for a crazy reduced price, and to have parents who purchased it for us. I've seen many other parents around town with this model, so it must be fairly popular.

Books

One thing I've discovered about parenting is that it IS possible to have too much information. Be careful what you read, and make sure a book lines up with your personal philosophy before you pursue it. If it feels wrong for you and your family, it probably is! Babies were raised for thousands of years without a fancy doctor telling you what to do, trust your own instincts.

That being said, I did read an extensive book about pregnancy and labor and felt that it fully prepared me. Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn by Penny Simkin is 500 pages long--think of it as your pregnancy and post-partum textbook.

I would also recommend a few different books on parenting. I regret only reading about pregnancy and felt like I had to play catch-up on parenting styles as soon as Abigail was born. There is a wide range of approaches, from Attachment Parenting to scheduling, and if you're a type-A personality like me, you like information as much ahead of time as possible. As always, trust your instincts and you can't go wrong!

Diaper bag

Nothing fancy required here. I have one "big bag" for long trips out, and I also converted an old purse to a quick just-running-to-Kroger diaper bag. To handle the different bags, all of my essentials (ID, debit card) are in a wallet that can easily be thrown into either bag (or carried alone). I keep my wallet and keys in a basket by the front door and away we go!

*One final note on essentials. I wrote this list from a breastfeeding mama's perspective, but I did not include anything nursing or formula related. Mostly because I know nothing about formula, and my breastfeeding journey has been a bit unique (as they all are!). Maybe we'll save that for another post, another day : )

Phew, that's enough reading for today. Moving on to baby-maybes in a later post!

Sawyer Bpo Bpo Byrge

A lot of couples set a timeframe for when they'll have children. Maybe a year after marriage, maybe when they hit some sort of goal like a promotion or new house. Kenny and I had no real goals like that for our actual human baby--but we definitely planned for our first furry one! When we got married, we lived in an apartment complex that did not allow pets. Our first priority after the wedding was finding a new place to live, one that did allow dogs. We were married in October, and by December we were in a new apartment. December 23rd we welcomed our new family member, Sawyer Bpo Bpo Byrge.

All the pets in our family are named after characters from the show LOST, so we had the name "Sawyer" picked out before we even bought him. The "Bpo Bpo" middle name is also from LOST, as one of the characters owns a shar-pei with that name.

Kenny found him online via the Indianapolis Star classifieds section. He showed me the picture of the litter and Sayer was the only chocolate one. I was immediately in love.

We had previously been considering a bulldog, but knew that they were prone to many health problems. I didn't know much about shar-pei, but before we went to see Sawyer's litter I turned to Google. All I could find was that they sometimes needed the wrinkles around their eyes tacked up, until they grew into them. Otherwise they could develop eye issues from the weight of their eyelids. Okay fine, we'll talk to the breeder and see if it was a problem with their dogs. They said no, and even from the photo above you can see that these puppies do not have excessive wrinkles.

It was less than a month later that we found out the true nature of the shar-pei. We came home from church to find Sawyer very lethargic. He barely moved, felt warm to touch, and was completely out of it. He wouldn't even eat a piece of cheese--a certain sign of something wrong in a dog! I again went to Google and found a message board devoted to shar-pei. This is where I first discovered Familial Shar-Pei Fever. In brief, it is a genetic disorder which causes a build-up of proteins in the organs. One symptom of the disease is sudden, unexplained, very high fevers.

It was Sunday, and our vet was not open. We didn't even have a thermometer. I rushed out to CVS and bought the fastest digital read thermometer I could find. Normal temperature range for a dog is about 101, and immediate medical attention should be sought at 105. Sawyer's temperature that morning was 104.6.

It was a very frightening feeling, holding this 8 pound bundle of wrinkles, thinking that he was in such danger. We gave him a baby aspirin and tried to keep him comfortable. The nearest emergency vet was one hour away in Indianapolis, and we did not want to risk aggravating the situation further with such a long drive. We monitored him closely and his fever came down over the course of the day.

Sawyer's life has been punctuated with many such fever episodes. Some are so mild we give him an aspirin and move on with barely a thought. Some have been serious enough that we were certain we would lose him (the highest his temp has ever gone was 106.6, one of the scariest moments of my life). He literally carries scars of these events, as one episode resulted in an infection in his legs that caused his skin to slough off. But he is our fighter, our tough guy (and a little bit of a momma's boy), and if we are very lucky we will have him for the average life expectancy of 8 years. If I could go back and know everything about shar-pei that I know now, I would still get Sawyer. Many shar-pei owners call them the "potato chip breed" because once you have one, you have to have another. I feel the same. And looking at this face, can you blame me?

Voluntary Unemployment

Yesterday was officially my last day of work. I am now unemployed for the first time since my first job, almost 10 years ago. Granted, my last actual day of working was February 3rd, but in the back of my mind I had a safety net, in case this whole stay at home mom thing didn't work out. Now, however, my maternity leave has ended in resignation and the safety net is gone. I still think it will take a while to adjust. I was that person who, even on her scheduled days off, always worried that I'd run into a coworker and have to defend why I wasn't at work. Not having somewhere to go, somewhere expected every day, is strange for me. 

My husband would tell you that I'm kind of lazy, because I don't like to pick up my dirty socks and sometimes I don't rinse coffee grounds out of the sink. But when it comes to paid employment, I've always worked hard. I met deadlines, I overachieved, I actually tried my hardest every day (well, until the end of my pregnancy, but I was checked out of LIFE by that point!). It will be an adjustment to take that focus and apply it to the things I (admittedly) never cared much about. A clean house (it just gets dirty again). Laundry (I have lots of underwear so I can go longer between loads). Cooking dinner (a frozen pizza doesn't count?). Throw in taking care of a baby and learning how to be a good mom, and well, that's plenty to keep me busy!